Dear PJS,

I’m in love, at last…Sometimes life just takes us to directions that lead to one another,Paths that we dont even know where they would take us,And yet, it brought me to you…Over the past 2 months we’ve been together, 23 nights we slept on the same bed,We made love, we had arguments, we wrestled, we laughed, and we cried, together.

Days that I spent with you here in Taipei, is just one of the most unforgettablemoments in my life. Moments that made me realize that love still exists, moments thatmade me realize, I am still capable to love, and be loved.And I just can’t believe that I’m gonna sleep alone tonight, and tomorrow, and prollyuntil my last day in Taipei. This bed is cold when you’re not here, the house is empty when you’re not around,and I am lonely without you. I’ve always been lonely.

There are a lot of things that I still don’t understand in me.I do not hide, I do not pretend. But sometimes, there are moments when it rains, andI am alone, I just wanna burst in tears. I think about life. The past, present, andwhat it might be in the future. I think about love, and I think about you.I am gonna spend today mourning your departure, cry whenever I feel like it,and be sad….for I am entitled to it. I didnt go anywhere tonight, just stay at home,writing, and missing you. Made some phone call to a friend, looking for somedistraction. But it doesn’t work. I am still thinking about you.

I cry everytime I see the bed, I burst in tears by the sight of your slipper, I walkaround the house not knowing what to do, oh I hate this kind of feeling.A feeling that you are being left alone, and got nobody to cling on. This is the third time I cry because somebody’s left. But I can never get used to it.I still hate the feeling. Nothing’s permanent when you’re far away from home.But where is home? I feel at home when I’m with you. Everytime I went out without you,I got nothing in mind besides the feeling that I wanna rush back home to you.And when I’m home and I see your smile, there’s nothing else that I want more than being with you and hug you all night.

This might sound a bit too melancholic, but I am. Don’t worry, this is not gonna lastforever. Today’s reserved for melancholy. I might cry all night when I lie on my bed,alone, without you, but I won’t let the sun catch me crying. I might sleep with the light on, trying to think that you would ring the door again after buying some beer and Dorito’s in 7-11. But tomorrow’s a different story, a different chapter. A chapter without you in sight, a chapter when I can no longer take you by the hand,a chapter of nothing to rush back home for.

Past midnight, turn on the TV, searching for a companionship. I stare at your pictures trying to buy the moments again, listen to some melancholic songs just tosqueeze every tear I’ve got for you, I lie down at your side of the bed, just to gain the feeling of your warmth, to smell the scent of your odour.This is not a letter of goodbye, this is just a letter of love. When the sun shines tomorrow, I shall rise again. Don’t worry, hunny….Because, at the end of the day, I will always be with you….Take good care of yourself, your mum, and your friends. Treasure them, cuz nothing’s worth more than the love of a mother and a dear friend.My love will always be with you. See you again, if fated…..

All my love,
MiSsB

Missing you,Taipei, 12:46 AM 6/25/2003