Marriage is a good thing. Two very different persons integrate together for a unified purpose. But death and separation is an inevitable thing. When one spouse passes away leaving the other loved one behind, its a devastating crisis to the surviving partner.

A friend recounted to me how she treasured her almost perfect marriage. For ten fruitful years, they were happily married. He always made her feel how loved she was. Oftentimes, the give and take relationship was in the wife’s favor. He made her feel that she was in complete control of their lives and she was very happy with him throughout their marriage.

It has been four years since he passed away, and somehow she hasn’t gotten over it yet. She really misses him and to help her move on, she goes to a psychiatrist. I asked her what was the most important thing that she misses from his absence.

Instinctively she would say that it is his love that she misses the most. She felt that she found the best love of her life during the best years of her life in her forties.

After some soul searching, she went on to explain, I was in complete shocked when he suddenly passed away from a heart attack. It was then that I begun to realize that I wasn’t in total control of my life anymore.

This shocking realization is the reason she finds it hard to move on. She is still reeling from the thought that all the time when she thought she was in complete control, she really wasn’t.

However, with the help of reading the Bible, she has come to terms with herself and has renewed her closeness to God. It came as a surprise to her when I said that the reason why you are so depressed is because you’ve always wanted to do everything your way, always thinking that you’re in complete control of the situation.

But the truth is, we’ll never be really in control of the situation. If we only let go but believe that by doing our best in whatever we do, then that is enough assurance that everything will turn out for the best.

The source of her frustration and depression is based on the premise that life is so dynamic and constantly changing that nobody really is in total control of their circumstances. In her quest for control, she’s just like chasing the wind.

She has now adopted a different philosophy which is to let God take total control of her life. In submitting to do the will of God, she has finally found peace within herself. And when you’re at peace with yourself, that’s taking full control of your life