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Sometimes we become lost without the slightest idea of being lost. The trials and tribulations of life can sometimes cause us to not pay attention to the things we are manafesting in our lives.
Loss of life, business, health, the loss of a friend or family member. The pain of a divorce, child abuse, neglect, and the list of pains go on. These things can sometimes become absorbed in your mind and cause you to not see the horrible results being built right before your eyes.
Today I saw what has manafested in my life over the last few years of trials and tribulations. It’s time for me to start to heal and nuture the relationships that were broken in my life.
I saw an invisible wall, and it surrounded me. There was no entry or exit that I could visibly see. I waited for fear to come, but it never did.
I don’t remember building it, and I don’t really know why it was built.
I wondered for a moment why no one ever told me it was being built.
I sat and thought about it, and thought about it…..and thought about it.
Then I realized that sometimes people tell you in the softest of way. In ways that, if you are not perceptive enough, you will never even hear. An invitation to an outing….a letter in the mail, a card, an uninvited conversation, or an email to say hello.
Right now, I am not wondering how to get out, because to me it feels safe. But, I am wondering how
the family and friends, that gently and softly tried to come in must have felt. I’m wondering if sorry can ever be enough.
My first step to healing is to acknowledge where I am, understanding how I got here, and being able to express how sorry I am for shutting out my loved ones and in the process become aware of minding my life.
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